At least make sure they are 18
Why
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
