Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
