I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
