i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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