He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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