he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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