just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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