My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize