i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
