you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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