i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize