note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm passing your future prison.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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