Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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