what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
