Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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