I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
