you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
