I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
