If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
