If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
