This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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