He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
