you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
