Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
