I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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