tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
