so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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