Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
