just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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