fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize