just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize