I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
