Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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