Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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