Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
