is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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