I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you traded sex for a burrito?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
