You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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