And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
