you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just blew my weed a kiss
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
