I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Quick, to the slutcave!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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