Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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