She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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