Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
