So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
