gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
