does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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