Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
