"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
