can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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