HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What drink are we having for lunch?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
