She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize