Small penises have feelings too.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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