Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
