good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
