i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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