i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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