I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
